May 1, 2009, Newsletter Issue #164: When Friends Go Too Far

Tip of the Week

Sometimes, a bachelorette gift can go too far. The traditions surrounding a bachelorette night out might put pressure on planners to go a little wilder than the bride may be comfortable with, and it is a good idea to keep this in mind when arranging gag gifts.

One bride writes, "It didnít occur to me to have a conversation about what I wanted and didnít want at my bachelorette party because Iím an Anne of Green Gables, high tea loving, Jane Austen reading type of gal. My bridesmaids are on the same wave length too including my sis, or so I thought. It turns out that she had started purchasing this penis paraphernalia as well as sex toys, a whip, a pink leather cat suit etc. I told her in kind but firm tones that I did not want the stuff. A silk nighty, feather boa or fuzzy handcuffs would more than do the trick."

Some gifts may make the bride uncomfortable to the point that she questions her friendships with the organisers. At such a time, it is important to remember that a wedding is an emotional and stressful time in a woman's life and she may be more prone to outbursts than usual Ė so it is best to avoid difficult situations altogether.

If you're planning the party without the bride's input, keep in mind that her boundaries might be different to yours. Even when you know the bride well, she might feel uncomfortable when given sexually explicit gifts in front of a mixed group of friends, and might draw the line when asked to try them on or try them out.

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Jerry Mayo